Mr Kon
by Yazzy
Summary: Sequal to Mr. Hiwatari. As time goes on, Rei is being more and more distant. Can Kai find out what's wrong before something terrible happens? AU, yaoi, KaiRei.
1. Chapter 1

Well hello there! Despite having had TWO exams today (chemistry- yuck- and food tech- also yuck) I'm in quite a good mood, because I've pinched a bit of someone else's server and I have an email account which my brother can't steal!

Right, about this fic- it's the sequal to a story I posted a while back called 'Mr. Hiwatari'. It's AU, and it's set in England because I live in England and I'd sound like an idiot if I tried to talk about other places like I do in this fic. Basically, Kai is a young secondary school teacher (secondary school is for 11-16 year olds). He's twenty. Rei has just left school, and he's part of a parkour team. Parkour is free-running- finding landmarks and jumping about them in funky ways. If you go to 'parkour dot com' you can get more information. Rei's seventeen. I would recommend reading 'Mr. Hiwatari' before you read this, but I suppose it could be understood on its own...still, you might not understand some of the jokes if you don't read the first one!

If anyone gets confused by English currency/school system/etc, just shove it in a review and I'll reply in the next chapter! And now, on with the first chapter!

* * *

"Rei? Bring me the phone, would you?" Rei peeked around the door of the bathroom, puzzled. 

"Kai...what are you doing leant over the toilet like that? I thought you were just going to phone in sick?"

"I'm going to, but I need the phone." Rei obliged and watched as Kai called the school number, picking up a bucket in his other hand. From where Rei was standing, it seemed to be full of tomatoes and fruit juice...

Kai put on a pathetic voice as the phone was answered at the other end. "H-Hello? It's me...Kai...I..." Kai made a spectacular retching sound and emptied the bucket into the toilet bowl with a horrible splattering sound. "I think it's food poisoning...I...I better-" Kai gave another retching noise and rang off. Rei burst out laughing.

"You could have just seen me later..." Kai stood up, smiling.

"It's your birthday- I wouldn't be able to concentrate at work anyway. Now I get to spend the day with you, and that's far better than spending it with screaming year sevens. I hate my lessons on Thursdays..." Rei laughed and gave Kai a hug.

"So what are we doing today, then?" Kai smirked.

"Hm...well, we obviously can't go out until later, so we'll have to stay in...and I'm supposed to be ill, so I should really be staying in bed..." Rei nibbled at Kai's ear, eliciting a shocked gasp from the Russian.

"I have no objections to staying in bed...I'll be your nurse for the day, and warm you up, and-"

"Hold on, you need your present first!"

"Present? You got me a present?"

"Yep."

"Kai, you shouldn't have! You've already skived off work for me!" Kai shook his head and pulled Rei out into the living room, reaching up to the top of the bookshelf and pulling down a present wrapped in gold paper. Rei opened it and burst out laughing. In his hands were a pair of handcuffs and a pot of chocolate body paint complete with a brush. Kai blinked innocently. "What?" Rei looked at him for a few seconds then took the lid off the body paint, dipping the brush in and writing something on Kai's cheeks.

Kai waited until he was finished then looked in the mirror. His left cheek proclaimed 'Rei's', and his left cheek read 'Biatch'. With an indignant cry Kai grabbed Rei around the waist and threw him over his shoulder, carrying him into the bedroom and dropping him onto the bed with a playful "I'll show -you- who's the biatch around here! And anyway, 'biatch' isn't a real word!"

"It's a word, it's just not an English word! Nyah!" Kai opened his mouth to reply then shook his head, drawing Rei into a mind-blowing kiss. Rei looked up at him enquiringly. "You're not going to try and prove me wrong?"

"I've got better things to do...like you, for instance. Anyway, it's your birthday, I'll let you think you're right for today!"

Rei giggled and stretched up, licking off the paint on Kai's cheeks. "I -am- right! So nyah! And about doing me...is that a promise?" Kai smirked, stood up and closed the curtains, then turned.

"You bet it is."

* * *

"Rei?" Kai looked up from his marking as Rei walked in. "How was practice?" 

"Oh, okay..." He sat down at the other end of the sofa, looking preoccupied. Kai put down his pen and sat back, looking at Rei anxiously.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh...I'm fine...I'm just a bit tired..."

"A bit, or very?" Kai slid up the sofa and wound an arm around Rei's shoulders, trailing a hand up the Chinese's thigh suggestively. Rei pushed the hand away, turning his face away at the same time. "I'm tired, Kai...not tonight."

"Okay." Kai said, feeling slightly put out. Rei had never refused him so blankly before... He tightened his hold around Rei's shoulders only to have Rei wriggle away, standing up. "Do you want a coffee?"

"No...I'm-"

Rei disappeared, sweeping off to make himself a drink. Kai flumped against the back of the sofa, feeling strange. It wasn't like Rei to act like that... He stood up and walked into his tiny kitchen, where Rei was leaning against the counter, waiting for the kettle to boil. "Rei?"

"Mm?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Kai. I'm just tired."

"...I'll come to bed, if you want me to."

"No, I can't, I have some safety reports to fill out for tomorrow, and I have to be out at seven..."

Rei had been extremely pleased when he'd been given the task of training some of the more skilled younger children and getting them ready for the team, but whenever they went anywhere, there were innumerable bits of paper and forms to fill out. It made Kai wonder sometimes why it was called 'free' running...

"I'll help you, then. I've only got one book left to mark, and I know the essay in question will be an E-grade, because I know for a fact that she only got as far as the first word."

"Kai, I don't need you to look after me! I'll do my own reports!" Rei snapped. Kai blinked.

"Rei...I...I just want to help..."

"I don't -need- help!" Shouted Rei, grabbing the now-boiled kettle and splashing the water into his mug.

"Okay, fine!" Kai yelled. "I'm going to bed..."

He stalked out and into his bedroom, stripping to his boxers and then curling up alone under the duvet. It was a strange feeling; he was used to sleeping beside Rei. It felt horribly cold without him...

When Kai woke up in the morning, Rei was already gone. Something was bothering him, though...something was going on inside that pretty, dark-haired head, and Kai wanted to know exactly what it was.

* * *

Kai sighed as the bell rang, signifying the end of the day. He looked around at the badly painted walls around him and sighed again. He'd spent the whole day trying to work out what was wrong with Rei, and so far he hadn't been able to come up with any answers. He stood up, loosened his tie, and then walked out, headed for home. Halfway there, he changed his mind. Rei had said he was going to the park to practice... 

With a wave of determination, Kai started out towards the park, intending to ask Rei what had been bothering him the night before. As he walked, shoes clicking on the pavement, he hummed to himself. After he'd found out what was wrong, he would ask Rei to come out for dinner with him. Granted, he was a poor, impoverished teacher with no money to speak of, but he'd saved a bit, enough to treat himself and Rei to a nice night out.

He turned, walking through the park gates, wondering where Rei could be. He wandered along peacefully, looking around at the beautiful flowers lining the path. As he turned a corner, he looked up, and his world fell apart.

Rei was standing there...Rei was standing there...and...

* * *

Ooh, cliffie! Anyway, hope you like it so far, and please, please, please R&R! I'm a shameless review junkie! 


	2. Chapter 2

Ooooh! I got lotsa reviews and that makes me HAPPY! I'm in a really good mood at the minute- I don't have another exam until Tuesday and this Saturday and Sunday is the music festival at my school! And now, replies to all those lovely shiny reviews people left for me!

Roppie: Ah, well you don't have to want any longer, just scroll down a bit and the answer is there!

Platinum Rei: He might be cheating...and he might not! You'll just have to read on and find out!

TomTwins13: I don't mind, I am mean to the characters in all of my fics! If I' mever on the phone to one of my friends, nine out of twn times I tell her about a new idea she tells me I'm evil...

lil-inu: I hurried, I hurried. But I've never really done cliffhangers before, and I felt like trying one!

BloodyShadows: There's nothing wrong with him, per se...or not yet, anyway.

Just that good: Soon enough? Anyway, be curious no more! The answer is down the page!

miriam906: Wow, so many people couldn't wait...but no more waiting, it's the weekend so I have a little more time to write and post in!

Endoh Chiaki: Thanks! And Rei was... ah, you'll have to scroll down to find out!

SilkYuzu: Hee, thanks! and don't worry, you don't have to wait any more!

Thunder Fairy: I'm sorry, I know cliffies are mean, but I've never done one before and I wanted to have a go at one!

wingedsoldier: Pregnant? He could be, I suppose...I've done mpreg before, but no, this isn't one.

Hannah: Tsk tsk, I'm slimming! I'm at my leaver's prom in a few weeks, you'll make me fat giving me cookies! Thank you for the gesture though, I'll give it to my invisible giraffe, Geoff.

MikaTanaka: Or all three... But you'll have to scroll down to find out!

MikeyWaysgirl: I checked out your story, and I left a review for it. I was quite critical, because I don't believe in glossing over the bad parts of a story while outlining the good, but I hope you find it helpful. It's mainly technical things like paragraphing and spelling you need to check, though.

Helen AKA Marsipan: Whoah there, don't die! That wouldn't be very nice at all, and then the story would be on an eternal cliffhanger for you!

UlTiMaTe KaI LuVa: I know, I know, cliffies are evil, but I promise there are no more in this fic! At least...I don't -think- there are...

kaei kon: Hee, thanks for being so nice about my writing! Oh, and can you give me the web address of that fic of mine your friend translated? I'd like to go and check it out!

Weirdo: Hehe, nice name! I'm glad you think this looks good with capitals...makes me feel special!

Orla-chan: Ooh, compliments! I love them, I do! Thank you very much!

LullabyLily: I stockpiled a couple of things to post during my exams, but I usually write anyway when I get sick of revising. There's only so much bitesize I can take! Oh, and good luck with your exams, I hope you get the grades you want!

Ellen: Well, I take my example of year sevens from the people at the school I just left...and most of them were little hooligans who ran around going "MRAH LIKE!" at everyone. I had several vendettas going with irritating little cocky people who thought they were supremely clever when really they were pathetic, racist, homophobic (I would have hated to have been the guy in my year who came out, they were EVIL to him!), and generally stupid. that applies to most of the year eights, nines, tens and elevens as well, but seven comes first so it got put in. I say most- some of them were nice. I hope you'e one of the nice ones!

* * *

Kai made a small choking noise in the back of his throat and took a step backwards. Rei was standing there, right in front of him, and he was... "Oh my God..." He whispered. Rei was kissing someone...another man...that was why he'd been so distant...he was...was... "Oh my God..." He repeated. Hearing him, Rei looked up, tearing himself away from his blonde-haired friend. 

"Kai..."

Kai felt tears fill his eyes, and backed away a step before turning and running. He thought he could hear someone following him, probably Rei, maybe Rei, but he kept running...it seemed somehow important to get away from that what he'd seen...

His mind replayed the sight of Rei standing there in the arms of that other man and he sobbed, bursting into tears as he collapsed into his flat and shut the door behind himself, locking and bolting it before sliding down it to sit on the floor, sobbing.

A couple of minutes later, someone knocked, loudly and frantically. "Kai! Kai, are you in there?"

"Rei...how could you-? How could you do this to me? You could have just told me it was over... You didn't have to..." Kai succumbed to a fresh wave of sobs, trying desperately to keep hold of his emotions. It was just a kiss, just a kiss...but it was hard to call it 'just' a kiss when kissing Rei meant so much to him...but now Rei had...

"Kai, it isn't over!"

"Oh? And what would your new boyfriend think of you saying that?"

"He's not my boyfriend!"

Kai found his pain suddenly give way to anger. "Even better, you're having one night stands while I sit all day and worry! You were probably only tired last night because you were fucking whoever he is!" He screamed. There was a shocked gasp from the other side of the door.

"Kai, how can you say that! I'm not a slut!"

"What am I supposed to say? Have a nice time with your little loverboy? I don't think so!"

"Kai, please, let me explain!"

"EXPLAIN WHAT?"

"Kai...I..." Kai gave a growl of rage and stormed into his living room, turning on the TV and cranking up the volume until Homer Simpson's voice was the only thing he could hear. Rei hammered on the door a few times, then nothing. Kai presumed he'd gone, then broke down into tears again, turning off the TV and lying there on the sofa, in his cold, quiet, empty flat.

* * *

In the morning, he realised that he'd probably been a bit harsh. Rei had asked to explain...maybe there really was a good reason for it? With a sigh, Kai sat up. He couldn't pretend to be ill again, the school would suspect. He would just have to go and see Rei after work. He knew where the Chinese would be; giving a talk at the local library.

* * *

Rei rolled over in bed with a groan and found someone lying next to him. Someone...and it wasn't Kai. Startled, he sat up. And then he saw the blonde hair fanned out on the pillow beside him and remembered. Kai had seen him kissing Andy. 

With a sigh, he sank back, snuggling up in the duvet. Kai had been so angry...he hadn't let Rei explain...he wasn't dating Andy or anything like that. It was all so simple...so stupid. Andy gave a soft moan and shifted, and Rei shook his head. Andy had just wanted to know what it was like to kiss another guy...it was a question anyone would ask if they suspected they were gay. It was just hideously, hideously bad luck that Kai had seen them, at that moment.

And...it was becoming clearer, now that his mind was ascending from it's sleep-ridden depths...he'd gone to Andy and...

A wave of shame crashed over Rei as he remembered the night before. Of walking into Andy's house, of kissing him, of stripping him, and inviting him to...

It had hurt. Andy had neither Kai's experience nor his gentleness, and far from the pleasure he usually felt, Rei had just been in pain the whole time. And Andy didn't moan like Kai, he didn't whisper 'Rei' like Kai, he didn't caress and stroke every inch of Rei's body like Kai...he was, to be blunt, awful compared to Kai. But...

Rei sniffed and started to cry. Kai would never want him back after this... He got up and dressed quickly before Andy woke up and then left, feeling dirty, ashamed, and desolate, and knowing that one night...one night of what hadn't even been pleasure...was the end of any chance he could have had of being with Kai.

* * *

"Mr. Hiwatari..." 

"Yes?" Kai looked up to see an annoying little first year girl standing in front of him with her book. She tilted her small round face up and smiled slightly, cocking her head so that her blonde hair fell onto one of her shoulders.

"Will you mark my work, sir?"

"No. I'm marking your books tonight. Do the next exercise if you've finished that one."

"But sir, we're not supposed to start on Shakespeare till-"

"JUST GET ON WITH IT!" Kai hollered, slamming a hand onto the desk. He didn't need little kids quibbling with him right now. When he looked up a second later, the little girl was still there, and she was crying. With a sigh, he stood up. "I'm sorry. I have a lot on my mind at the moment. Go and clean yourself up and then come back. And the rest of you, stay quiet while I go and sort something out."

He left the room, walking into the opposite direction to the crying girl, whose name he couldn't remember. He headed for the staff toilets and collapsed inside, locking the door behind himself and sitting down on the lid of the toilet, heaving an almighty sigh and burying his face in his hands. When you lose your temper with children, Hiwatari, he thought, and you're a teacher, it isn't a good thing...

A minute or so later after calming himself down some, he went back to his classroom to find it in total chaos. The children were running about and screaming at each other, and one of them was inexplicably tied to the window latch. Kai stood there for a second, gobsmacked, then he felt his temper begin to surface. "GET BACK TO YOUR SEATS AND SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU! I WILL HAVE SILENCE UNTIL THE END OF THE LESSON!" He screamed. The first years scurried back to their places and went about finishing their comprehension, while Kai kept his blood pressure low by thinking about how he and Rei could reconcile their differences and get back together...

* * *

"Mr. Kon?" 

"Um...yes?" The tall, thin receptionist looked down her nose at him.

"There's a man here to see you. Says his name is Kai Hiwatari." She over-pronounced the first 'i' in Kai's surname, making it sound like Heewatari. Rei sighed. So Kai had come to see him. What for? To give him his toothbrush? He noticed after a while that the receptionist was waiting for a reply, and smiled. "Please, send him up."

And then he sat and waited in the tiny, empty community room, feeling his heart thudding in his chest. A few seconds later, the door opened, and Kai walked in, still in his purple shirt and tie from work. "Rei. You said you wanted to explain." He pulled over a chair and sat across from Rei. "So explain."

"Kai I...I'm not dating him or anything like that! He wondered if he was gay, and..."

"He wanted to see if he liked kissing other guys?" Rei nodded, and Kai nodded as well. "So I was being paranoid about nothing?" Rei hesitated.

"I'm not going out with him or anything."

"Okay. So...to make up for being an idiot...do you want to have dinner with me?" Rei smiled and leapt over onto Kai's lap, hugging him and kissing him...kissing Andy...

Suddenly he moved back, and out of Kai's arms, standing up again. "Kai...I-I can't...I... You would want me...to be honest, wouldn't you, Kai?" Kai was suddenly tense.

"Have you been lying to me?"

"N-No! But I...I..." Rei closed his eyes. "I slept with him! Last night! I'm sorry! I was angry! I-I just wanted to be with someone and I-I-" He opened his eyes and saw that Kai's face had gone white. His naturally pale skin had lightened to an almost translucent colour, and the look in his eyes was one of such rage and pain that Rei fell to his knees, grabbing Kai's hands. "I'm sorry Kai! I didn't even like it- I don't like him! But you made me angry, Kai, and-"

"What, so it's my fault you're a slut?" Kai shook Rei's hands away and stood up, walking to the door and turning. "I don't ever want to see you again, Rei. You just... You... Oh forget it. I loved you. I'm regretting that right now. I should have known it would never work."

And with that, he was gone. Rei stood up and looked after him, then started to cry.

* * *

Weeble! I know it seems hopeless for them, but I promise now that this story will have a happy ending! It'll get worse before it gets better, but it will get better! Anyway, R&R please! 


	3. Chapter 3

Wahay! Next chapter, and I'm still in a pretty good mood.

BloodyShadows: I know, it's mean on Rei, and it'll be even meaner by the end of the chapter!

animeobsession: Like I said in that email, I'm having immense problems finding that fic...could you put a link to it on your bio? That might work...

lil-inu: Hee, thank'ee. And if you review this chapter, could you give me the details for that writing challenge?

Delores L: Ay, I can sympathise! I don't usually get travel sick but buses make me feel awful...one of my friends is actually scared of buses, but that's another thing -entirely-! Also, my mother's just as bad with packing ('Yes dear, you do need eighty-nine pairs of socks even though you're only going for three days!").

wingedsoldier: You think that's cruel? That was tame compared to this chapter, and even tamer compared to the other fic I'm writing at the moment! Kidnapping and a mad fan, anyone?

Endoh Chiaki: Hee, the better the mood the better the angst!

PandaPjays: The cute stuff is at the END. I don't ever give the characters a happy ending unless they've suffered enough to deserve one! And Rei and Kai have a heck of a lot of suffering to do before I'm done with them!

Hannah: Geoff is something of a walking waste-bin, he would enjoy anything you throw at him! Thank you for the apple, it was very tasty! And Rei was angry and looking for someone to understand him, s'all.

Kiko cat: Feel sorry for both of them. You will by the end of this chapter!

Skimmie: Howdy! I'm glad you like this one too!

Ellen: They're young, they're in love, and Rei's an eejit…speaking from experience, even if you love someone you can cheat on them (I have divorced parents; I'm well up on that one…).

* * *

"Hello?" Kai gave a very convincing 'uncontrollable' cough down the phone. "I-" Cough, cough, cough. "I've got-ah-achoo!" More coughing coupled with the sneezing. "I've got a cold-" More coughing. 

"Mr. Hiwatari, isn't it? Okay, I'll mark you down as ill."

"Ah-achoo! Th-thank you..."

Kai put the phone down and flung it away from him, collapsing onto his bed and bursting into a fresh bout of tears. He'd been crying just about non-stop since he'd seen Rei in the library, so he supposed his thick voice would make his 'cold' sound all the more convincing. He knew it was irresponsible to take another day off work, but he just didn't think he could face little kids. Not then. He curled up on his side, snivelling, reaching for the box of tissues by his bed and blowing his nose, hurling the used tissue towards the mound of tissues that had once been his waste-paper basket.

He'd tried taking his mind off it. He'd tried marking books, watching TV, reading, sleeping, but no. He couldn't do any of them. He'd dozed a few times but his mind was overdriving him on pain and he found himself unable to settle, short fitful dreams of Rei with that other man invading his head. He banged his head off the bedside table, trying to shock himself into getting a grip, but it didn't work. It was like an ache, somewhere deep inside his chest, and if he thought about it hard for too long, he found it almost hard to breathe.

Rei...Rei had slept with someone else. His Rei, his beautiful, amazing Rei, who he'd broken laws to be with, who he'd been with less than a year, who he loved and needed...Rei had left him. Rei had gone to bed willingly with someone else. Kai choked out another sob, slamming a fist into his pillow. It wasn't fair...he felt so used...

* * *

"Rei?" Rei looked up at his trainer with an expressionless face. "Are you alright?" 

"No."

"Oh." Mick laid a hand on his shoulder, looking concerned, leaning over Rei protectively. Rei leant against his nicknamed 'big brother' and started to cry. "Mick...I-I...me and Kai..."

"Had an argument?"

"N-No! Worse than that! We-We're not together anymore!"

"What happened? Did he do something bad to you?" Rei started to howl with tears, burying his face in Mick's collar.

"No, it was me! I cheated on him, Mick! I kissed someone else, and he got angry, but when he didn't let me explain why I got angry as well and I...I... I've ruined everything!"

"Rei...you...went with someone else?"

"Yes! I know I'm a stupid slut but I was angry! And I wanted to be near someone! He locked me out, so I-I just... God, Mick, I've screwed everything up! He said he doesn't ever want to see me again! I don't know how I'm going to live without him!"

"Rei...I...I have to say that I'd want the same thing, in his position. If I found out Mary was cheating on me..."

"But you've been married for five years!"

Mick let go of Rei and started to walk away. Rei sniffed and wiped his eyes. "So you don't want to see me again either? Great. Just great. I hope you're happy when I go and overdose on smack!" Rei spat, turning and storming away. Bad enough to have a ruined life, but a ruined life with your best friend walking away from you? It was just too much...

For a second, Rei actually considered the possibility of suicide, then realised that he wasn't brave enough to do it anyway. He stormed home, where he -had- been staying less and less, greeted his mother and grandmother politely, and disappeared up to his bedroom, to cry into his pillow. There was a huge feeling of guilt sitting somewhere on his chest, making him feel as if his every move was constricted by a big, shameful wall of self-reproach. He felt as if his life was ruined, unsalvageable, over, but the worst thing was that he'd done it himself. No-one had made him kiss Andy, and although it was out of helpfulness, that was where the whole thing had started...

He almost wanted to blame Andy, but he knew that was childish. Still...he felt like being childish. Eight months out of secondary school, just turned seventeen, living with a twenty-year-old, cheating on the twenty year old... Sobbing, he collapsed into the bathroom, holding his breath as he crossed the landing in case anyone heard. He sat down, leaning against the side of the bath, reaching for his razor. His mother had bought him it a long time ago, but he'd never needed it...not before now, anyway...

He stared down at himself for a moment, feeling inhuman, like a monster or a beast, then he slid the razor gently, oh so gently over his upper arm. As he cut, he thought suddenly that people would be able to see it...but...too late... He dropped the razor and looked down at the short cut, about an inch of skin split open, clean edged and oozing blood. A drop dribbled down his arm and he smiled. Still bleeding. Still alive. Still human...

* * *

A week passed, and Kai had to drag himself back to school, unable to fake the cold scenario any longer. He taught his lessons woodenly, with none of his usual vigour. When the last class had left, he just sat there, feeling hollow. Hollow and empty. No Rei to look forward to. No easy chatter. No hugs, no kisses. No teasing, no tickling. No sex, although at that moment he was surprised to find that that wasn't the most important thing on his mind. 

The door swung open and Tala walked in. Tala, a fellow teacher, had know about Rei and Kai from the beginning, had encouraged them, even. Kai had told him what had happened, and Tala had sympathised. But today...

"Kai, I think you should talk to him."

"Nn?"

"Rei. You should talk to him. Look at you, Kai, you're a wreck! You're depressed, you're getting thinner...are you eating? Anyway...I think you need to sort it out with him. From what you said, the last time you spoke was all a bit...you know...angry. Well, everything's a bit calmer now, and-" 

"Tala, he slept with someone else! Willingly! Why the hell should I talk to him?" Kai stood up, furious, and Tala glared.

"Because you need him, Kai! If you think about it, you'll realise that you forgive him! You're just too stubborn! You know he's sorry, he's said he's sorry! Not so long ago, I taught him! He's not that kind of person, Kai, so just give him a chance!"

"SHUT UP! IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

Kai stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Rei sat in the bathroom again, fingers tracing lovingly over the numerous scars on his left arm. One long nail picked at one of the healing scabs, splitting it open again. Still bleeding. Still alive. Still human. His hand reached for the razor and he added another cut beneath, the blood flowing from one mixing with the blood coming from the cut below, trailing down his arm like scarlet ropes of guilt and self-hatred. 

It was all his fault. He'd ruined everything. Everything was over. Over, and it was never coming back... He'd lost Kai. Kai was gone. Gone forever. It was all his fault. All his fault. He's gone to his parkour practice that morning, and Mick had asked him to leave the team. Of course, after their first disagreement, things had gotten worse, but Rei had never thought... But then, when was anything he ever thought or did right? Except for the bleeding. Bleeding was okay.

If you bled you were human. You were alive. Savagely, Rei dug his nails into the fresh cut, a tiny hiss of pain escaping his lips. Pain...pain was good...he deserved pain, for causing all this trouble, for ruining his own life, for betraying Kai like that...

Footsteps on the landing shocked Rei into rolling down his sleeve and putting his jacket back on. He flushed the toilet and walked out, smiling at his grandmother before running into his room and locking the door behind him.

* * *

Kai glared at Tala from across the staffroom, took his memos out of his in-tray, and left the room. Tala was walking beside him about ten seconds later, holding two mugs of coffee. Kai accepted the second mug wordlessly, and they kept walking. "Kai..." Tala said after a while. "It's been a fortnight since you split with him, and you're no better. You need him, Kai. He's probably feeling so guilty right now you wouldn't believe it. You should talk to him." 

"I can't." Was Kai's abrupt answer.

"Why?"

"Because..." Kai bowed his head, a tear splashing into his coffee. "Because it would hurt me too much..."

Tala sighed and decided to leave the matter as it stood.

* * *

Rei leapt across another short roof gap, landing in a crouch and running on. He'd decided to go on a run, but since he'd been kicked off the team, he hadn't really practised. Even in the space of a week he was getting unfit. And the cuts on his arm hardly helped, but every time he had to use it, it hurt. and if it hurt, he was still alive. 

It was about five o clock, and Rei stood for a second, looking out at all the people bustling around below him. He hopped down onto a fire escape and down to the third floor windowsill of an office-block. He jumped, aiming for the sill opposite, then his eyes caught a flash of purple in the crowd...could it be...

Crimson eyes glared up at him and he faltered, outstretched hands scrabbling at nothingness and then...falling...

* * *

Kai sighed, trudging home. He'd had another argument with Tala about Rei, and he wasn't exactly in the best of moods, having been forced to teach rebellious fourteen year olds for the last two lessons of the day. And then of course he'd had to stay back and mark books... 

He looked up as he reached the bustling town centre square, and his eyes met someone else's. Someone who was halfway up a building...in mid-air... Was it...Rei? Even from a hundred odd meters away, Kai could see that Rei wasn't going to make it. He saw Rei's hands claw at mid air and just ran. It seemed right to. He sprinted as fast as he could, digging his phone out of his pocket and dialling 999 as Rei hit the floor, all along his left side. Kai shoulder barged through the already gathering crowd of people and came to a stop by Rei as the ambulance service came through.

"Portrack Square, a free-runner..." He panted. "Three storey building, unconscious, injuries down left side..." He knelt, pressing his fingers to Rei's neck and praying. "Pulse...and...blood...come quickly...please!" He rang off and knelt over Rei, stroking his hair, frantic with worry. A man came forward and started to move Rei, but Kai pushed him back, so hard that he almost fell over. "Get off him! You're not supposed to move people if they might have spinal damage you moron!" He snapped. The man came closer again and Kai almost boiled over with rage. All his worry was channelling into his anger, and it was all he could to not to launch himself at the stupid fat man and headbutt him.

"Touch him again and so help me God I will kill you!" He screamed. Any further comment was stopped by an ambulance careering up onto the pavement, spilling paramedics. They slipped Rei onto a stretcher and got him into the ambulance, and Kai got in with them.

"Excuse me sir, but who are you?"

"I'm his boyfriend." Replied Kai, without a shadow of hesitation.

* * *

Oooooh, I'm evil! I'm really really evil! But it gets better, I promise I promise I promise! 

Anyway, please R&R!


	4. Chapter 4

Whee! Second last chapter. And I have a history exam in the morning...sucks. And a physics one the day after. But after that, I only have one more exam and then I'm FREE! Until I get to college (if I get the grades I need, anyway). Thank you all so much for reviewing, it means a lot to me. I come on the PC and go to my account and my face just lights up when I see that I've got a new review! It's even better than that feeling you get when you counter-flame a yaoi hater and just absolutely hammer them (I don't know if anyone else actually uses that word, it's slang from where I come from for 'totally and utterly beaten'. But it's more fun to say 'HAH! Hammered you!"). And now, replies to all those squishy-licious reviews!

Little-Purple-Phoenix: Eek! Sorry, I didn't get your review until I'd posted the last chapter. And they will make up...eventually!

Glitter-Cat91: Sorry to you, too! I didn't realise I had any more reviews before I posted the last chapter, so some didn't get replied to!

Kiko cat: No, don't cry! The ending's going to be happy, but they have to be miserable enough to deserve it first!

skimmie: Here it is!

BloodyShadows: It -was- harsh, but hey. Makes for good angst.

Kanilla-Master of Fluff: Aww, you're so nice! While I was writing that cutting bit I was on the phone to Peachmelba, and she just kept saying 'you're EVIL, do you know that?'. Mind you, she says that about most of the things I write...

miriam906: That's the good bit. Neither of them are totally right, and neither of them are totally wrong. Means I get to torture them a little more!

Ellen: Lots of ouchies for Rei. Poor Rei. But he won't be quite so poor after this chapter, hopefully! Oh, and thank you for that hilarious review you left on 'The Wedding'! I sat there laughing at the utter hammeration of whoever 'Kezzy' is for ages!

wingedsoldier: You sound just like my best friend. She always says I'm evil, but I PROMISE that this chapter is better. Promise.

Platinum Rei: Hee, Rei. I torture him so, but it does get better for him soon!

animeobsession: Falling does suck. It would especially suck for me because I have a hideous fear of heights. I'll keep checking for the link, it doesn't seem to be up on the site yet...

Endoh Chiaki: I could have paralyzed him, but I thought that'd be too cruel. And smack is a drug. Well, it's a slang name for a drug, but yeah.

Just that good: Very, very stubborn. But after what happened to Rei, he's going to see the error of his ways. Hopefully.

lil-inu: Yup. I've found a trend, by the way...most of the long fics I write are horribly mean and angsty, and most of the one-shots are fluffy and nice. Ah well.

PandaPjays: Love the name! And thanks for being so complimentary about my writing!

And now, the second last chapter!

* * *

Kai walked in through the sliding doors of the hospital, walking a familiar path to the lift and getting inside, pressing the button for the fifth floor and waiting while the doors closed and the lift started to move, letting him believe that the lurching feeling in his stomach was due to the gravity, not to the paranoia he felt about hearing that Rei had gotten worse. 

The lift door opened and Kai walked down the corridor, exactly eleven paces, and opened the door of Rei's room. The steady beeping of the monitors reached his ears and Kai sighed with relief. Rei was still alive. He walked inside to see the familiar sight of a tanned face standing out against the stark white pillows, and a fringe of ebony hair sweeping over the blankets and trailing over the side of the bed. A week. A week, and there had been no change.

Taking a deep, calming breath, he went over and sat in the worn leather chair beside the bed. "Rei..." He sniffed, feeling tears fill his eyes, like they had every other time. He reached out tentatively and brushed a few strands of hair away from Rei's face, stroking his cheek and then moving down to the bandages at the top of his arm. The blood. That was what it had been.

But why? Rei had obviously been cutting himself... Was that why he'd been so distant? Was it...something he, Kai, had done? Was it his fault, for driving Rei away? "Rei..." Kai sat there for a few minutes, crying quietly, all the time stroking Rei's cheek gently. "Can you hear me, Rei? Oh Rei...Rei...I'm so sorry...please wake up...please..."

He slid off the chair and onto his knees, leaning against the side of the bed, resting his head against Rei's thigh. "Rei..." Rei laid there, mouth covered by a plastic breathing mask, unmoving, unresponsive, and Kai felt the same old feelings of despair sink into him.

"Mr. Hiwatari?" Kai didn't turn, just sobbed a little more. "Mr. Hiwatari, Doctor March asked me to tell you that Mr. Kon isn't showing any signs of change..."

"Th-Thank you..." Kai listened to the footsteps die away and nuzzled his face further up next to Rei's blanketed body. "I'm sorry, Rei...I'm sorry...please just wake up, I'll do anything!" No reply. Kai stood up, wiping his eyes with the back of one hand. "I'll come back after work tomorrow, Rei...please...please...wake up. Don't leave me..." He leaned over, pressing a gentle kiss to Rei's forehead and then walking to the door. "Please..." He whispered, before leaving the room, shutting the door quietly behind him.

* * *

"Please...wake up. Don't leave me..." 

Rei groaned and opened his eyes, the words still echoing in his ears. He hurt, all over his body, one ginormous stinging ache. "Kai?"

No. No Kai. No Kai...and all because... "Kai..." Tears filled his eyes, turning the surroundings he hadn't even noticed yet into a hazy mass of white. He'd driven Kai away...he'd hurt him so badly and now... "Kai..." As it had all those other times before, his right arm raised itself to his shoulder, and, finding it covered, moved along until he found a bit that wasn't, digging in his nails savagely and tearing the skin open, seeing a whirl of red in all the white.

"Mr. Kon!" Something dragged his hand away and he snatched it back, needing to see more blood, needing to know... The something held him firmly, and he turned to the haze of peach. "Where's Kai?"

"Kai?"

"Where is he? Where am I? Am I alive?"

Something dug into him somewhere and he was vaguely aware that it hurt, before the haze turned black, and there was nothing...

* * *

"Hello?" Kai answered the phone, glad of a break from marking the ninth of twenty essays. 

"Mr. Hiwatari? It's about Mr. Kon."

"Oh God... Oh no...no he can't be...is he...is he d-dead?"

"Oh no! No, he's woken up."

"What?" Kai looked over at the clock, and found that it read 12:38. "Can I come and see him?"

"Not right now, no... He's had to be sedated. He woke up about half an hour ago and he started...injuring himself. He kept asking about you."

"He... He did?" Kai gave a short laugh of sheer relief and joy. "When he wakes up...tell him I'll be there as soon as I get off work... Actually...when do you open in the morning? When can I come and see him?"

"Um...eight o clock..."

"If he wakes up before then, tell him I'm coming...actually...no...don't."

"You wanna surprise him?"

"Yeah...oh God...thank you so much..." Kai rang off, then burst into tears of joy. He grabbed the phone again and phoned the school, getting the answer-phone.

"...Please leave your message after the tone."

"This is Kai, my boyfriend's in hospital and he's just woken up and I'm going to see him tomorrow, and I don't care if you fire me, because at the moment I'm just too damned happy to care. Sorry to whoever has to do my cover."

He threw the phone away and bounced on the sofa, laughing out loud. Who cared if his neighbours thought he was mad? Who cared? Rei was okay! Rei was... The person on the phone had said that Rei was hurting himself again...and he'd been talking about him... Yawning from sheer exhaustion, Kai started to doubt himself again. Maybe Rei wouldn't want to see him?

The thought still hovered in his mind as he found himself falling asleep.

* * *

"Am I alive?" Rei asked, persisting in his quest for an answer. The efficient, middle-aged nurse carried on straightening his bedclothes, and he writhed, moving them again. "Am I alive?" No reply. "Am I alive? Tell me! Where's Kai?" 

"The doctor will see you in five minutes."

She left, and Rei sniffed. No-one would give him an answer... His nails had been cut, but they were still long enough to make a mark, to drag up a line of blood from inside of him. Blood. Still alive. He dug his nails in a little harder, whispering Kai's name out loud.

"Rei..." Gentle, warm hands took hold of his own, and he looked up, straight into crimson eyes. "Rei, don't do that...I'm sorry..." A pair of arms wrapped around him and he was pulled up to a sitting position, yelping as desperate hands dug into his injured limbs. "Oh Rei I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

"Kai?"

"Oh God, yes...Rei I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I didn't mean to make you hurt yourself, I didn't realise!"

"I didn't...it wasn't because of anything you did, Kai! It's because...I-I ruined everything...I made you hate me, I made Mick hate me, and I...I had to know...I needed to be sure...if I was alive..."

"Oh Rei... Rei, I'm sorry..." Rei burst into tears, crying against Kai's chest.

"Kai...Kai I'm sorry...I didn't...I-I'm sorry!"

"No, no, don't be sorry...don't be sorry, it doesn't matter..." Kai sobbed, nuzzling into Rei's hair. "I love you. Do you know that? And I didn't mean it when I said I never wanted to see you again. I didn't mean it at all..."

Choking with tears, Rei moved back, stretching up and kissing Kai passionately, desperately, clutching at him as if he were the only thing that existed, that mattered. Kai kissed him back, tightening his hold, needing to be sure that Rei was okay, that he was here, he was awake, he was alive-

"Rei, I love you..."

"Oh Kai...I-I don't deserve it..."

Kai shook his head, bringing up one hand to stroke Rei's cheek. "I'll decide who I want to love, and I love you!"

"Kai..."

"It doesn't matter! It stopped mattering a million years ago! Jesus, Rei, when I saw you falling I thought I was going to die of fright right there and then! I was wrong when I judged you so quickly! It...it just doesn't matter any more! I love you too much for anything else to be important!"

Rei sniffed and nuzzled his face into Kai's neck. "I love you too, Kai. D-Do you...Do you even want it?"

"Of course I want it..." Kai's voice dropped to a whisper, as he closed his eyes. "I want your love more than I want anything else in the world..."

There was the sound of the door opening, and then-

"Mr. Hiwatari, put him down! He shouldn't be sitting in his condition!" Kai turned, smiled weakly at the nurse, and lowered Rei back onto his pillows.

"Sorry. I...was just so happy to see him awake again." He twined his fingers with Rei's and squeezed them gently.

"I can see that, Mr. Hiwatari." Kai turned at the sound of a new voice, and found the head teacher of his school standing there. She looked stern, and Kai sighed. Oh well... "I guess I'm fired, then?"

"You can't fire him!" Rei was indignant. "He only came to see me!" He grabbed Kai's shoulder and yanked himself up, angry. "If you need him back at school that much, fine, drag him back with you, but don't fire him!"

The head teacher smiled softly. "Rei Kon. You've only just left school..." Rei sniffed.

"That isn't the issue."

"No, the issue is that you should be laying down!" Chided the nurse.

"Well I'm not going to lay down if she's going to fire Kai! It'll be her fault if I get worse and die!"

"Rei...lie down. I'm not going to fire Kai. I just came to see if you were both alright. The school's been proud of what you've done in the past few months, Rei. Now lie down, and get better soon. Kai, I expect you back at school by Monday at the latest!" And then she was gone. Rei laid back down slowly, groaning, and the nurse left as well, shaking her head and muttering about 'headstrong young 'uns'.

"Rei...thank you." Kai smiled down at Rei, then lay down beside him, folding his arms around the Chinese and sighing. "God, I love you."

"I love you too..."

* * *

Next Chapter: Is the last chapter, and is more of an epilogue than anything else. Kai and Rei go on holiday together, and that infamous word 'biatch' makes another appearance! 

R&R please!


	5. Chapter 5

Whee! I got so many reviews I think the replies will be longer than the chapter! Thank you all so very much, you make me HAPPY! Even though I had a history exam today and it was all about monasteries...bah!

Endoh Chiaki: I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you like this chapter just as much!

PandaPjays: Oo, your comment made my head swell. Pity is, it popped right after because I realised I have physics tomorrow and I'm going to fail it big time...

UlTiMaTe KaI LuVa: Everyone's crazy, but love does make you crazier, or I think so anyway.

skimmie: Here it is!

darkangelintheshadows: Yup, Rei was being a slut. But he's being a good boy now!

wingedsoldier: I am evil to the characters, and I always will be. If the fic I write isn't a oneshot, you can usually guarantee that it'll be angsty. But always with a happy ending.

Delores L: When I went on holiday with my friend Peachmelba last year we had the same problem. She had to declare the Playstation2 in her bag at customs... Hope you're having a nice time wherever it is that you are!

Little-Purple-Phoenix: So am I!

Platinum Rei: It really came about when me and my friends were discussing 'words your parents hate'- we ended up with biatch, shan (mean) and cow (no idea why...).

BloodyShadows: Sniffle not, for down the page lies more fluff!

Kanilla: Hee, you made me happy again! Seriously, my head will swell so much it pops if you keep giving me compliments! Thank you very much!

miriam906: I'm afraid it's over, yes. And then I'll be posting a couple of oneshots while I tweak a few bits of the next long fic I post. Probably the one I'm writing about Kai going insane...

Ellen: I was reading bits of that review to Peachmelba on the phone, and when I got the the 'the n00bs are breeding' part she just burst out laughing... Mmm...ice cream...oh dammit, you've made me hungry now...and I'm supposed to be slimming for my prom!

Constantine: He did have his head up his ass, but he doesn't now. Now he's nice teacher-guy-Kai! Also...purr to you too. I wish I had a cat but I can't because my stepdad's allergic and I already have a rabbit (called Bilbo Baggins by my mother to avoid us all arguing over the name!).

KyokiXKurama: I loved inventing his excuses, especially the one at the beginning of the fic! Naughty little skiver Kai...

grEMLin eVil: Hee, I'm glad you like it!

Lullaby Lily: I'm just hoping I get the grades to get into college (where I can drop maths and science because I'm no good at them!). Lots of luck for your exams!

animeobsession: Head...swelled...can't...fit through the door... Hee, only joking! Next long fic up is probably going to be the one I did about Kai going insane, but I'll post a couple of oneshots in between while I'm tweaking. Can't do enough tweaking!

And now, the LAST chapter!

* * *

"Rei..."

"Mm-hm?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm snuggling up to you because it's absolutely freezing and you told me it wouldn't be very cold."

"No, I said it wouldn't be -as- cold as it is in winter. Come on, Rei, this is Russia- you know, where it snows!"

Rei sighed and nuzzled himself further into Kai's arms. Kai had decided that they needed a holiday, and Rei had agreed to come to Russia with him for a week. Even dressed in about eight different layers of clothing, Rei was freezing. There were definite perks, though- extra hugs for warmth, extra kisses for warmth, lots of hot chocolate, and of course, Kai was having to carry him a lot of the time owing to the fact that his crutches slipped on the snow and frost.

It was, all in all, a very comfortable arrangement. "Kai?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think Andrea will have called? We did change the answer-phone message, didn't we?"

"-I- changed it, yes. And how am I supposed to know if she's called?"

Rei shrugged. Andrea was the captain of a parkour team he wanted to join. He hadn't been able to face seeing Mick again, not after everything that had happened. It had worked out okay, though, because Andrea's team had better funding and lots of teaching contracts. Rei had found that he actually quite liked teaching, and although what he taught wasn't exactly English, it was satisfying all the same.

"She should have phoned. Half the country's seen you running after that documentary, and...hey, Rei...do you remember that chat show you were on?"

"How could I forget it? You phoned in and talked to me about the English exam I missed!"

"It was valid. And I did say you could come over and make your apologies for missing the exam that I so carefully prepared you for." Kai chuckled. Rei stuck out his tongue and Kai laughed a bit harder. "Careful, it might freeze!"

"Yeah, well who phones a chat show and talks about Jack searching for penis?"

"I didn't say that, you did if you remember. It was when you were messing around in my lesson and you said 'oh penis' as an answer. So hah, I'm right."

"You're not always right!"

"I am."

"Biatch." Kai's eyes narrowed.

"Biatch isn't a word."

"Yes it is. It's just not English."

"It's not anything!"

"I bet it is!"

Kai sighed. "Rei?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you cold?"

"Yes, and I've told you that how many times now?"

Kai smirked. "If you tell me I'm right, I'll warm you up."

"No biscuit, Kai. I'll freeze before I admit to being wrong!"

Kai thought about it, long and hard. "You know what? I don't care. I love you, Rei." Rei smiled, leaning against Kai a little more. "I'll be your biatch any day."

"It feels like forever since then... It was going so well...and then I managed to ruin it all..." The Chinese sighed, looking miserable again. Kai laid an arm around his shoulders and kissed his cheek.

"Stop blaming yourself. If I hadn't been so paranoid none of it would have happened. I was just so afraid of losing you...and I still am." Kai leaned closer, to whisper in Rei's ear. "Because I love you so much." Rei turned, capturing Kai's lips in a slow, loving kiss. They broke apart, smiling.

"I'm cold, Kai."

"I know."

"I could use some warming up..." Kai pulled Rei onto his lap and wrapped his arms around him, kissing him again.

"Any warmer?" Rei shook his head.

"I think we'd better go back to the hotel...you'll be able to warm me up -much- better there..." He said, winking. Kai laughed, standing up with Rei still in his arms. Rei picked up his crutches and let Kai carry him back through the icy streets, back to their hotel room where a large double bed and Rei's surrepticiously hidden body paint were waiting...

Fin

* * *

See, I told you it was short. Well, there's another fic over. Jammy. Well, I'd better go and do some physics revision, so ciao! R&R please! 


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